New Places, New People, and No New Clothes

Apr 11

Written By Kilee Nickels

Gray tee, cargo vest, fringed scarf and leopard sneaks

Shirt: Target

Vest: DIY

Jeans: Lucky Brand

Shoes: H&M

Purse: Thrifted

Scarf: Daily Charms

I'm not sure if it happens to you too, but whenever I have a big event coming up, I tend to over analyze what I'm going to wear. I try to plan too much, I try too hard, and I usually end up just buying something new to wear to feel better about it all. My husband always tells me that I get it wrong when I try too hard and that I shouldn't stress about it, no matter the event. But it's hard! Big events like holiday parties, conferences, or trips just seem to call for new clothes. In new clothes, you feel the confidence of something fresh and new to you. You can't help but feel cute in a new top or new jeans.

As I was prepping for last weekend's blog conference, I knew that the clothes were going to get me. I was going to a two-day event with people I didn't know, and not only that, a lot of other fashion bloggers. The insecurities of how to fit in and stand out started creeping in. As I thought about it, I remembered a blog post that I had read a few months back. I was so impressed when I read it the first time, and the truth of it had really stuck to my heart. So I decided this was my weekend to try it for myself. I was not going to buy anything new for my conference. While there were probably people attending who really did need to pick up a few new things to wear, I definitely didn't. My closet is full of more than adequate options. And I knew that subconsciously trying to be best dressed would be a losing game. I had to think, what was I trying to get out of the weekend anyway? A best dressed award? Or connections with people, new information, and personal growth? I could get all of those things no matter what I was wearing.

So I went for it. I wore my old favorites mixed in with some recently thrifted pieces. If anything was new-ish, I had bought it for other reasons - not for the weekend. I picked out my outfits the night before/morning of and just went with them. I was comfortable in my choices, but I was going as just me. It was surprisingly difficult and also awesome.

Because what I was wearing hadn't been my focus, I didn't feel self conscious. I barely thought about my clothes and actually got what I wanted out of the weekend. I had a great time with old friends and made new friends. It was such a fun break away from the house and the kids. As someone who loves learning, I soaked up the classes and asked a lot of questions. And guess what? There really were so many beautiful and well dressed women there. Winning best dressed would have been truly an impossible task. I'm so grateful that I went in with the right mindset. I did my best to stand out by being myself, not by looking a certain way, which was and has been my first reaction to new places and people.

I'm not sure I'll hold this as a new standard for myself, but it did feel good to prove to myself the value in it. As a reserved and often naturally insecure person, I pushed past some of that and came out stronger for it. Win, win, win in my book.